giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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