I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He did a backflip because drugs
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
