I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
