Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's always time for handjobs
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
