***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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