i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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