took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize