Sponge bath it is.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just cropdusted the office
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
