Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
