another moral hangover. fuck.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
