she was so not down for the gang bang
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
