When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize