Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
