how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
third nipple confirmed
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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