so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
