should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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