god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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