Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
