sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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