Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
3 2 1 whiskey
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
