is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
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