Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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