just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
