I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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