Can i not drive my cunt home
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
