he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
