I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
