We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
