we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
