No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
