Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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