I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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