As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
