What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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