so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
