worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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