Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
