I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
