Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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