I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
