Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
