Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
