I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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