it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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