You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
