is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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