Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
