My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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