Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
