my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
