You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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